A highly optimistic, multi-coloured flowchart depicting a series of logical steps a consumer takes, entirely ignoring the reality that they usually just click the wrong button and close the tab.
What they actually mean
A map of how we hope people buy our things, drawn by someone who has never met a person.
Heard in the wild
"We need to map the customer journey to understand where we are losing them in the checkout funnel."
The untraceable sharing of content via private channels, usually consisting of employees messaging each other to ask if the company's new campaign is as embarrassing as they think it is.
Our latest promotional video is getting a lot of traction on dark social, though mostly via encrypted WhatsApp chats.
Translation
People are mocking our brand in private group chats where our tracking pixels cannot find them.
The delicate art of redesigning a corporate logo with a soft leaf motif to divert attention from the fact that the company’s main export is non-recyclable plastic.
"If we sponsor a local beach clean-up with a catchy hashtag, we can successfully greenwash our Q4 distribution metrics."
Translation
"We bought a handful of carbon offsets from an unmonitored woodland in Devon to ease our collective guilt."
A highly versatile verb used to avoid saying the word 'use', thereby making a mundane administrative task sound like physics.
"We need to leverage our existing brand assets to drive deeper organic engagement."
Translation
We are going to send another newsletter.