Browse A–Z
319 entries and counting.
3
A
- Above the foldMarketingAssume our target audience has the attention span of a startled goldfish.
- Action itemConsultingYou have just been given more work.
- ActionableConsultingPlease say something I can put on a slide.
- Agile ceremonyTech"Let's argue about a digital sticky note for forty minutes."
- Air coverConsulting"Please tell them we aren't entirely useless."
- Align On ThatConsultingWe disagree and will meet again about it.
- Always-onMarketingWe are going to email them every Tuesday until they die or unsubscribe.
- Angel investorStartups"A dentist in Surrey gave us fifty grand after we showed him a PowerPoint presentation with three graphs going up."
- As Per My Last EmailHR / PeopleYou did not read it. I am cross.
- AskConsultingTell me what you want before I lose interest.
B
- Bake InTechWe forgot it last time and paid for it.
- BandwidthTechI am busy and would rather not.
- Beauty paradeBanking"Let's perform some corporate theatre for people who already made up their minds last Tuesday."
- Best endeavoursLegal"We will send one email on Friday afternoon and then go to the pub."
- Best-In-ClassMarketingIt works most of the time.
- Big RocksConsultingThe things we will still not finish.
- BikesheddingTech"I do not understand the underlying software architecture, but I do have very strong feelings about pastel shades."
- Bio-breakHR / People"I need to use the toilet immediately."
- BlacklineLegalShow me exactly how many hours of work we can bill for correcting minor typos.
- Blameless post-mortemTechWe all know who did this, and we will make them feel very uncomfortable without using their name.
- Bleeding EdgeTechNothing works and no one can help us.
- Blue Sky ThinkingMarketingSay anything. We will ignore all of it.
- Boil the oceanConsultingScope creep with a metaphor.
- BoilerplateLegalCopy-pasted text we hope you don't read.
- Boots on the GroundRetailSomeone else should drive there.
- BootstrappedStartupsWe cannot afford heating.
- BottleneckConsultingIt is a person and everyone knows who.
- Brain dumpTechHere is a pile of garbage; please turn it into a strategy.
- Brand activationMarketing"We are paying £50,000 to rent an empty shop for three days to hand out lukewarm oat milk."
- Brand equityMarketingWe spent the budget on a very expensive launch party.
- Brand storytellingMarketingWe are trying to make a credit card sound like a spiritual journey.
- Brand voiceMarketingRules about adjectives.
- Bring your whole self to workHR / People"Please do not mention your existential dread during the Monday morning stand-up."
- Bull Market BrainBankingYou have never seen a downturn.
- Burn rateStartups"We are spending money like a lottery winner in a panic."
- Buy-InHR / PeopleSomeone senior must be blamed alongside me.
C
- CadenceTechAnother recurring calendar invite.
- Calibration meetingHR / PeoplePrepare to be graded on a curve that has been flattened by finance.
- Call to actionMarketing"Click here to give us money."
- Cap tableStartupsA pie chart of imaginary wealth.
- Capacity PlanningRetailDeliberate understaffing.
- CapExFinance"We spent the money, but we are pretending we didn't."
- Career conversationHR / PeoplePrepare to accept a grander job title instead of a pay rise.
- Career progression frameworkHR / PeopleThere is no budget for your raise.
- Carve-outLegalWe require a bespoke loophole.
- CaveatLegal"We will not be delivering this by Friday."
- Change agentConsulting"We need a human shield for the upcoming layoffs."
- Change managementConsulting"We are taking away their desks, and they are going to be absolutely furious."
- ChurnSalesPeople hated it and cancelled.
- Circle backTechI have no answer and hope you forget you asked.
- Circle the WagonsConsultingSay nothing to anyone outside this room.
- ClawbackFinance"We’ve realized we paid you far too much for making a complete mess of things."
- Client-FacingSalesDo not swear in this document.
- Close Of PlayLegalTonight, and probably late.
- Code freezeTech"Please stop helping, you are making it worse."
- Cold CallSalesBeing hung up on, professionally.
- Colleague advocacyMarketing"Please repost this picture of our new regional distribution warehouse so we do not have to pay for advertising."
- Come to Jesus MeetingHR / PeopleThe bit HR should have done months ago.
- Commercially acceptable riskLegalWe're doing it anyway.
- CommitSalesA promise made under duress.
- Constructive feedbackHR / PeopleYou got flustered and made us look foolish.
- Content pillarMarketing"We have absolutely nothing else to say, so we are going to say this six times."
- Core competencyConsultingWe are going to stop doing the thing we are good at because it is expensive.
- Core hoursHR / People"If you leave at 4:00 PM, people will assume you have resigned."
- Cost avoidanceFinanceWe didn't spend money we didn't have.
- Cost optimisationFinanceLayoffs.
- Cross-FunctionalConsultingSix teams, zero owners.
- Cross-pollinateConsulting"Neither team has any idea what the other does, but it makes the calendar look busy."
- Culture fitHR / PeopleA hunch, formalised.
- Customer journeyMarketingA map of how we hope people buy our things, drawn by someone who has never met a person.
- Customer-centricMarketingWe will pretend to care about you until you have paid.
D
- Dark socialMarketingPeople are mocking our brand in private group chats where our tracking pixels cannot find them.
- Day rateConsultingPlease don't do the maths.
- De-riskFinanceEnsure we have someone else to blame if this fails.
- Decision-makerSales"I have spent three weeks pitching to an intern."
- DeckBankingForty slides no one will read past three.
- Deck monkeyBankingJunior banker.
- Deep-Dive WorkshopConsultingA full day, a whiteboard, and sandwiches.
- Default aliveStartupsWe can pay salaries for now.
- DeliverableConsultingA PDF nobody reads.
- Desk researchConsultingWe spent twenty minutes on Google and the top result agreed with us.
- Directionally correctConsultingThe numbers are made up, but the graph goes upwards.
- Discovery callSalesLet's see if they have enough money to be worth our time.
- Discretionary effortHR / PeoplePlease do two hours of unpaid overtime every night.
- DisruptiveStartupsWe are losing money on every transaction but hoping for a monopoly.
- Does it scale?StartupsHow do we replace you with an algorithm?
- DogfoodingTech"Prepare for your computer to freeze every twenty minutes."
- Domain ExpertiseTechShe actually knows how this works.
- Double-ClickBankingExplain the number you hoped I'd skip.
- Double-hattingHR / PeopleYou are now doing two jobs for the price of one.
- Drill DownFinanceSomeone is about to be asked a hard question.
- Drink the Kool-AidStartupsHe says "mission" without flinching.
- Drinking from a firehoseTech"Our handovers are non-existent."
- Drop A NoteHR / PeopleThis is now on record.
- Dry powderFinanceWe are hoarding money and you are not allowed to spend any of it.
- Dry runConsultingLet's spend three hours arguing about the shade of blue on slide twelve.
- Due DiligenceBankingSix weeks of reading in a locked data room.
E
- EcosystemTechThree integrations and a logo wall.
- EfficienciesFinanceRedundancies.
- Elevator PitchStartupsThirty seconds. Fewer buzzwords, please.
- EscalateTechI am going to your boss.
- EvergreenMarketingVague on purpose.
- Exit strategyStartups"We need to sell this company before anyone realizes it doesn't make any money."
F
- Face TimeHR / PeopleBeing seen matters more than the work.
- Fail fastStartups"We have absolutely no idea what we are doing, but we are burning through investor cash at an impressive speed."
- Feature creepTech"Sales promised the client we would build a button that plays a trumpet noise, and now we are late."
- Finger in the airConsultingI have completely made this figure up.
- Fire DrillTechSomeone senior remembered something.
- Fireside chatStartupsSit quietly in the artificial light of a PowerPoint presentation while we read pre-approved answers from a tablet.
- Flight riskHR / People"She has started wearing a smart shirt to her 'medical appointments'."
- FootfallRetailBrowsers, not buyers.
- FrictionlessTechTake their money before they realize what they've done.
- Full Court PressSalesEveryone rings them until they say yes.
- Fully BakedStartupsI made this up on the call.
- Future-proofHR / People"We are making a wild guess and hoping for the best."
G
- Game changerStartupsWe have changed the colour of a button.
- Garden leaveHR / PeopleWe are paying you to watch daytime television so you don't steal our clients.
- GatekeeperSalesI pestered a receptionist.
- Get the Ball RollingConsultingSomebody do the first bit.
- Ghost jobHR / People"You will be doing the work of three people for the foreseeable future."
- Give 110%RetailUnpaid overtime, framed as spirit.
- Going ForwardConsultingWe are not discussing what just happened.
- Golden handcuffsHR / PeopleI am being paid too much to have principles.
- Good QuestionConsultingI do not know.
- GranularConsulting"Let's waste three hours arguing about paperclips."
- GreenfieldTech"We are about to make an entirely new set of mistakes."
- Growth hackMarketingMarketing, but urgent.
- Growth MindsetHR / PeoplePlease accept more duties.
H
- HaircutFinanceA loss with better PR.
- Happy earsSalesOptimism as a forecasting methodology.
- Hard StopConsultingI am leaving at four regardless of you.
- Heads-downHR / PeopleDo not speak to me under any circumstances.
- Heads-upHR / PeopleBrace yourself for a miserable week.
- HeadwindsFinance"We didn't sell enough, and we hope you blame the Bank of England instead of us."
- Herding CatsHR / PeopleNobody replies to my calendar invites.
- Hero assetMarketingWe spent eighty percent of the budget on a two-minute video that will be watched in full by exactly four people.
- Hit the Ground RunningHR / PeopleThere is no handover and no training.
- Hockey StickStartupsMade-up future numbers.
- House ViewBankingDo not say that to clients.
- HypergrowthStartupsNobody has any idea who is responsible for this budget.
I
- ICP (Ideal Customer Profile)SalesThey have zero budget and are just using us for free consulting.
- Idea ShowerMarketingAn unstructured meeting.
- IdeateMarketingThink, but with a worse word for it.
- In my wheelhouseConsultingI do not want to do that task.
- In the WeedsConsultingStop talking about the spreadsheet.
- In-flightConsultingWe are hurtling towards a cliff and cannot turn around.
- Individual contributorHR / People"You are doing the work of five people, on your own, for one salary."
- Informal chatHR / PeopleThis is extremely formal.
- Internal mobilityHR / PeopleWe don't want to pay you redundancy, but we would quite like you to work in the basement.
- IterateStartupsWe are releasing a broken product because the board is asking questions.
K
L
- Land and expandSalesThe discount is a down payment on your budget.
- Land the planeConsultingPlease stop talking so we can all go home.
- LearningsConsultingIt went badly.
- Leaving money on the tableSalesWe haven't completely exhausted their budget yet.
- Legacy systemTechIf we press that button, the payroll department will catch fire.
- Legal reviewLegal"We are about to delete the only interesting paragraph."
- Level SetConsultingHalf the room has no idea why they are here.
- Lift And ShiftTechSame mess, new bill.
- Live dealBankingI have surrendered my calendar.
- Logo acquisitionSalesWe are willing to do this work at a loss if we can put their picture on our website.
- Loop BackTechThis is now forgotten.
- Loop InTechSarah now shares responsibility for this.
- Loss leaderRetailWe are giving away soap in the hope they buy a £400 brass giraffe.
- Low-hanging fruitConsulting"Let's do the easiest possible thing so we can pretend we've achieved something."
- Low-touchSalesPlease stop calling us.
M
- Managed outHR / PeopleWe are going to make your life sufficiently miserable until you resign of your own accord.
- Massage the copyMarketingLet's replace all the clear verbs with vague nouns so we can't be held to any of these promises.
- MaterialFinanceIt matters to you, not to us.
- Meat on the bonesConsultingWe need to invent some plausible-looking data to fill the slides.
- MECEConsulting"I have put everything into tidy boxes, and I would appreciate it if you did not complicate things with facts."
- Mission CriticalTechIf it breaks, the weekend is gone.
- Move Fast and Break ThingsStartupsWe will fix it after the outage.
- Move the needleSales"Work harder for the same pay."
- Multi-threadingSales"I am spamming five of them now instead of one."
- Muted growthFinanceWe did not make any money, and we have no idea how we made it last year either.
- MVPTechEverything, but rushed.
N
- Natural attritionHR / PeopleWe are going to run this department on hope and fumes.
- Net-netFinance"I have done the maths three times and the result is still depressing."
- Next stepsConsulting"We have reached no decisions, but if I assign you a spreadsheet task, we can all go home."
- No-BrainerSalesPlease do not think about it too hard.
- North starConsultingThis quarter's slogan.
- NurtureMarketing"We are going to spam them until they capitulate."
O
- OffboardingHR / People"Please hand over your pass and leave before you upset the juniors."
- OmnichannelMarketingWe will hound you across every screen you own until you buy our product or die.
- On the benchConsultingI am one empty calendar week away from redundancy.
- On the radarSalesWe have done absolutely nothing about this.
- OnboardingHR / PeopleThree logins arrive and four do not.
- One-offFinancePlease ignore this recurring problem.
- Open the KimonoBankingPlease never say this again.
- OperationaliseConsultingYou do the actual work.
- OpticsHR / PeopleIt is true but embarrassing.
- Outplacement supportHR / PeopleWe have laid you off, but we have purchased you a Zoom call with a career coach to ease our collective conscience.
- Over-indexMarketing"I have found a tiny, meaningless pattern in the data and I am going to build my entire quarterly review around it."
P
- Pain pointsMarketingThings that annoy people, which we can monetize.
- Paradigm ShiftMarketingWe changed the pricing page.
- Parking LotConsultingNever mentioned again.
- PeakRetailChristmas.
- Peel the onionConsultingLet's prolong this meeting by asking increasingly pedantic questions.
- Performance improvement planHR / People"Nigel, you should probably start looking for a new job by lunchtime."
- PiggybackConsulting"I have contributed nothing to this project, but I am physically present in the room."
- PingTechI will interrupt you shortly.
- Ping me tonightBankingYour evening is now mine.
- Pipeline HygieneSalesAdmitting the forecast was fiction.
- PivotStartupsThe first idea didn't work.
- PlacematConsultingI have compressed three months of work into an unreadable eye-strain hazard.
- Pre-meetingConsulting"We need to rehearse our nodding so we look like we know what we're doing."
- Pre-readConsulting"I spent all night on these slides, and I need to pretend somebody has looked at them."
- Pre-revenueStartups"We are entirely funded by hope and investor gullibility."
- Pre-seedStartupsWe have no product, no customers, and very little time before the rent is due.
- ProactiveHR / PeopleRead my mind.
- Product-market fitStartups"We are currently selling a solution to a problem we completely made up."
- PuntFinanceNext quarter's problem now.
- PushbackLegalThey are going to say absolutely not.
Q
- Quick syncTechI refuse to write this down.
- Quiet firingHR / PeopleWe lack the courage to dismiss you, so we are going to ignore you until you leave.
- Quiet hiringHR / People"We fired the operations manager and Sarah now has two jobs."
- Quiet quittingHR / People"An employee has established boundaries and we do not know how to handle it."
R
- Radical candorHR / PeopleI am going to be quite rude now, but you aren't allowed to get upset.
- Reach OutSalesI will send an email.
- RedlineLegalPolite combat via track changes.
- RefactoringTechI am going to spend a week rearranging the furniture instead of doing actual work.
- ResourceHR / People"I need three warm bodies who won't complain about working over the weekend."
- RestructureHR / PeopleMore work, same title.
- Right-SizingFinanceLayoffs.
- Rightsize the AskConsultingWe cannot afford what you wanted.
- Ring-fenceLegalNobody touch this money, even if the building is on fire.
- Run It Up the FlagpoleMarketingLet someone else be blamed for it first.
- Run rateFinanceAnnualised wishful thinking.
- Run the numbersFinanceKeep changing the math until we aren't terrified.
- Running leanStartups"We can't afford to pay you overtime, but we do have a ping-pong table."
- RunwayStartupsTime until trouble.
S
- Sales enablementSales"Here are some large PDF files that will never be opened by a customer."
- SandbaggingSalesStrategic underpromising.
- Sanity checkConsultingLet's make sure our lies are coordinated.
- Scope CreepTechNobody said no, eleven times running.
- Self-starterHR / People"We have no onboarding process and your manager is permanently signed off with stress."
- Shadow ITTechStop using systems that actually work.
- Shrink The ScopeTechHalf of it is missing.
- ShrinkageRetailTheft.
- Single source of truthTechNobody knows which number is right.
- SkunkworksStartupsWe hid three developers in a basement so they would actually get some work done.
- Slightly softFinanceWe didn't sell a single unit in France.
- SMEConsultingThe only person left who knows the password.
- Snackable contentMarketing"Write something so incredibly brief that nobody has to think."
- Social proofMarketing"Put a quote from Jeff in logistics on the homepage and pretend he is an external enterprise partner."
- SocialiseConsultingLobby people in advance.
- Soft launchStartupsWe are releasing this broken website at 4:55 PM and praying everyone has gone to the pub.
- SolutioningConsulting"Let's draw some extremely complicated diagrams on a whiteboard to justify our invoice."
- Span of controlHR / PeopleWe are giving Sarah twice as many people to look after and zero extra pay.
- SpikeTech"None of us know how this works, and we are hoping to find a solution on a forum from 2012."
- StakeholderConsultingToo many people can say no.
- Stay interviewHR / People"Please don't leave, we don't have the budget to recruit your replacement."
- Stealth modeStartups"We do not have a product, a website, or a functioning printer."
- StrawmanConsulting"Please validate my existence by correcting my deliberate mistakes rather than finding my real ones."
- Stretch opportunityHR / PeoplePlease do two jobs for the price of one.
- SunsetTechKilling it, but gently phrased.
- Surprise and delightMarketingDistract them with merchandise before they notice the price increase.
- Sweat equityStartupsYou will work eighty-hour weeks for free, and your options will eventually be worth less than a cup of coffee.
- Sweating the assetsFinance"We are going to work you until you cry, because we don't have the budget for a replacement."
- SwimlaneTechDo not touch this; if it goes wrong, I want the blame to go to her.
- SynergiesBankingTwo teams became one.
- SynthesiseConsultingLet's make this sound complicated so we look clever.
T
- Table StakesMarketingEveryone has it. Well done, you too.
- Take a commercial viewLegal"Let's pretend this rule doesn't exist."
- Take This OfflineConsultingYou two argue about it elsewhere.
- Talent pipeliningHR / PeopleWe are wasting your afternoon to build a database of people we might call in nine months.
- Talent poolHR / PeopleWe are archiving your CV in a digital void.
- Tech debtTechThe code works and nobody knows why.
- Tech stackTech"We pay for twelve different tools because nobody knows how to use the first one."
- Thought leadershipMarketingOpinions with a logo attached.
- Thought starterMarketingHere is a slide containing three rhetorical questions and a picture of a mountain.
- Tiger TeamTechFive tired people and no extra time.
- To amplifyMarketing"Please pay LinkedIn to show this to bots."
- To architectTechTo overcomplicate a simple task to ensure permanent job security.
- To bubble upConsultingI want to pretend I am doing something with your complaint without actually having to resolve it.
- To build in publicStartupsWe have absolutely no idea what we are doing, but we hope the venture capitalists think it's brave.
- To build the plane while flying itStartupsWe have absolutely no plan, but we are panic-working at high altitude.
- To democratiseStartups"We are making this slightly more expensive, but you can pay for it on your phone."
- To evangeliseMarketingForce everyone to pretend they care about this.
- To goldplateConsultingTo keep working on something until we have depleted the client's remaining budget.
- To greenwashMarketing"We bought a handful of carbon offsets from an unmonitored woodland in Devon to ease our collective guilt."
- To kitchen-sinkFinanceDump all our failures into today's press release.
- To leverageMarketingWe are going to send another newsletter.
- To performance manageHR / PeopleWe are currently building a paper trail so we can fire you without being sued.
- To pressure-testConsultingI am about to point out that your spreadsheet has completely ignored the existence of weekends.
- To quarterbackSales"I will say hello at the start of the meeting and take the credit at the end."
- To sense-checkConsultingPlease tell me I haven't accidentally predicted a four hundred percent loss.
- To soft-circleBankingI am saying yes now to make you go away, but I have signed absolutely nothing.
- To stress-testFinanceApplying mathematical reassurance to a fundamentally unpredictable future.
- To transition outHR / PeopleMarcus is currently crying into a cardboard box in the car park.
- Top of funnelMarketingWe can't attribute this.
- Touch baseConsulting"I am monitoring you."
- TouchpointMarketing"We must find new and creative ways to spam them."
U
- UnicornStartupsA very expensive horse with a cardboard horn taped to its head.
- UnpackMarketingWe are going to overanalyse a minor complaint until it feels like a tragedy.
- UpskillingHR / People"We have decided to give you two jobs for the price of one."
- User storyTechI have summarized three months of complex engineering work into 'As a user, I want a button'.
V
W
- Warm bodyHR / PeopleA placeholder human used to fill a seat.
- Warm introductionConsultingPlease let me burn one of your personal favours so I can pitch to someone who doesn't want to talk to me.
- Warm leadSalesThey haven't blocked our number yet.
- Wash Its FaceFinanceIt makes no money.
- Ways of workingHR / People"Here is a new list of things you are apparently doing wrong."
- We're like a family hereHR / PeopleThe salary is the perk you don't get.
- Wearing many hatsStartupsWe haven't hired enough people.
- Wet signatureLegal"Please locate a printer, a pen, and a scanner, and prepare to waste twenty minutes."
- WhaleSalesA client so large they will expect us to rewrite our entire product just for them.
- White SpaceMarketingNobody wants it, but maybe they will.
- Win-WinSalesOne of us wins slightly more.
- Window dressingFinance"Quickly, delay paying the suppliers until next month so we look solvent."
- Without prejudiceLegalLet's settle this quietly, but if we go to court, I will deny we ever had this conversation.
- WorkstreamConsultingA separate meeting about a meeting.