Startups·71·Added 2026-09-09

Soft launch

Releasing a product with deliberate lack of publicity so that when it inevitably fails to function, nobody notices.

What they actually mean

We are releasing this broken website at 4:55 PM and praying everyone has gone to the pub.

Heard in the wild

"We’re doing a soft launch of the new portal on Friday to gauge initial user sentiment."

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Running lean

A euphemism for being drastically understaffed and poorly funded, successfully rebranded as an admirable display of agile discipline.

"We're running lean ahead of our Series A, so everyone is pitching in on customer support."

Translation

"We can't afford to pay you overtime, but we do have a ping-pong table."

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Pre-seed

A highly optimistic funding stage where an enterprise consists of nothing more than an ambitious slide deck, a shared workspace subscription, and a mountain of personal debt.

We are currently raising our pre-seed round to help us build the minimum viable prototype.

Translation

We have no product, no customers, and very little time before the rent is due.

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Key-person dependency

A precarious structural vulnerability wherein an entire business model relies entirely on a single employee who is the only one who knows how the legacy spreadsheet works.

We have a slight key-person dependency on Barnaby, who is currently on a three-week tech detox in the Andes.

Translation

If Barnaby gets hit by a bus, we will have to wind up the company.

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