Tech412
Circle back
To postpone a decision indefinitely while sounding collaborative about it.
"Great question — let's circle back on that after the sprint."
Translation
I have no answer and hope you forget you asked.
Section
Tech
Sprints, stand-ups and synergy at scale.
40 entries
All Tech entries
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Tech388
Tech debt
The pile of shortcuts holding the product together, spoken of like a mortgage nobody intends to pay.
"We'll tackle tech debt next quarter" — said every quarter since 2019.
Translation
The code works and nobody knows why.
Tech356
Quick sync
A 15-minute meeting that reliably consumes 47 minutes and produces one action item assigned to nobody.
"Popping a quick sync in for 4:45pm on Friday."
Translation
I refuse to write this down.
Tech274
MVP
Minimum Viable Product. In practice, the maximum feature list the deadline can physically absorb.
"The MVP just needs login, billing, an admin panel and AI."
Translation
Everything, but rushed.
Tech201
Single source of truth
One of the four competing spreadsheets, chosen at random.
"Check the SSOT — no, not that tab, the other one."
Translation
Nobody knows which number is right.
Tech88
Bandwidth
A person's remaining capacity, described as if they were a broadband router.
"I don't have the bandwidth for another workstream."
Translation
I am busy and would rather not.
Tech75
Legacy system
An ancient, mysterious piece of software that continues to run the entire business reliably, despite being universally hated by developers who cannot figure out how it works.
We would love to implement that feature, but it would require touching the legacy system.
Translation
If we press that button, the payroll department will catch fire.
Tech75
Feature creep
The slow, painful death of a perfectly simple software application as it is buried under a mountain of unnecessary functions demanded by clients who do not understand how databases work.
"We need to keep an eye on feature creep to ensure we meet our release date."
Translation
"Sales promised the client we would build a button that plays a trumpet noise, and now we are late."
Tech75
Refactoring
The therapeutic practice of rewriting working code to satisfy an engineer's aesthetic sensibilities, typically resulting in two new system outages.
Before we scale, we need to spend a sprint refactoring the core codebase.
Translation
I am going to spend a week rearranging the furniture instead of doing actual work.
Tech75
Escalate
To tell someone more senior, framed as process rather than telling on you.
"I'll have to escalate this."
Translation
I am going to your boss.
Tech72
Spike
A designated period of exploratory research intended to investigate a complex technical problem before any real work begins.
"We need to run a quick spike on this legacy database before we commit to the next sprint."
Translation
"None of us know how this works, and we are hoping to find a solution on a forum from 2012."
Tech72
Cadence
How often a meeting happens, described musically to make it sound pleasant.
"Let's set a weekly cadence."
Translation
Another recurring calendar invite.
Tech67
Brain dump
The act of hastily transferring unstructured, highly chaotic thoughts from one's mind onto a shared digital document to make it someone else's problem.
"I'll do a quick brain dump in a Google Doc and let you tidy up the narrative."
Translation
Here is a pile of garbage; please turn it into a strategy.
Tech66
Bikeshedding
The therapeutic practice of spending three hours debating a completely trivial detail to avoid addressing the fact that the core system does not actually function.
"Let's not get caught bikeshedding the hex code for the cancel button while the main database is actively melting down."
Translation
"I do not understand the underlying software architecture, but I do have very strong feelings about pastel shades."
Tech65
Drinking from a firehose
The traditional corporate method of onboarding a new starter by burying them under five years of unindexed documentation and wishing them luck.
"Your first week will feel a bit like drinking from a firehose, but you'll soon get the hang of it."
Translation
"Our handovers are non-existent."
Tech64
Loop Back
To return to a subject at a time that never arrives.
"I'll loop back on that."
Translation
This is now forgotten.
Tech63
Frictionless
A design philosophy aimed at removing any moments of cognitive reflection that might prevent a user from accidentally spending money.
"We need to make the upgrade process completely frictionless."
Translation
Take their money before they realize what they've done.
Tech62
Swimlane
A metaphorical boundary designed to keep employees strictly within their designated tasks, preventing the dangerous spread of initiative.
"I like the enthusiasm, Dave, but that task sits firmly in Sarah's swimlane."
Translation
Do not touch this; if it goes wrong, I want the blame to go to her.
Tech57
Shadow IT
The unauthorized suite of functional, intuitive software applications that employees secretly install because the officially approved corporate versions are completely unusable.
"We must crack down on Shadow IT to ensure compliance."
Translation
Stop using systems that actually work.
Tech56
Lift And Shift
Moving a system somewhere new without fixing anything about it.
"It's a straight lift and shift to cloud."
Translation
Same mess, new bill.
Tech52
User story
An optimistic, single-sentence fairy tale about how an imaginary person intends to use a software feature, written to avoid having to produce actual technical specifications.
"I've drafted the user stories for the new dashboard, so we are ready to build."
Translation
I have summarized three months of complex engineering work into 'As a user, I want a button'.
Tech52
Ecosystem
A collection of products described as if it were nature.
"Our partner ecosystem is thriving."
Translation
Three integrations and a logo wall.
Tech50
Dogfooding
The practice of forcing employees to use their own company's deeply flawed product in the hope that their shared misery will inspire them to fix it.
"We need to start dogfooding the new messaging app before we push it to clients."
Translation
"Prepare for your computer to freeze every twenty minutes."
Tech48
Code freeze
A designated period of enforced inactivity where developers are forbidden from touching the software, designed to prevent them from accidentally breaking it before a major launch.
"We are entering a code freeze on Friday, so please don't push any new features."
Translation
"Please stop helping, you are making it worse."
Tech47
Blameless post-mortem
A post-incident inquiry where a massive failure is analysed using polite passive voice to avoid naming the junior developer who caused it.
We'll be holding a blameless post-mortem on Monday to discuss why the database was deleted.
Translation
We all know who did this, and we will make them feel very uncomfortable without using their name.
Tech44
To architect
To design a software system with such magnificent complexity that its eventual failure can be blamed entirely on the laws of physics.
"If we architect this cloud infrastructure correctly, it should require an entire team of certified engineers just to keep the landing page online."
Translation
To overcomplicate a simple task to ensure permanent job security.
Tech44
Shrink The Scope
Removing features so the deadline can survive.
"We'll shrink the scope for launch."
Translation
Half of it is missing.
Tech39
Tech stack
The fragile ecosystem of expensive software subscriptions that somehow keeps a company's database from collapsing.
"We are currently reviewing our tech stack to ensure everything is fully integrated."
Translation
"We pay for twelve different tools because nobody knows how to use the first one."
Tech24
Greenfield
A project started from scratch without any legacy code constraints, offering developers a brief, beautiful moment of hope before they inevitably ruin it themselves.
"Since this is a completely greenfield initiative, we can build it the right way from day one."
Translation
"We are about to make an entirely new set of mistakes."
Tech21
Agile ceremony
A mandatory ritual where developers explain to a non-technical manager why the software is still broken, using complex terminology to prevent further questions.
"Let's make sure we address that blocker during tomorrow's Agile ceremony."
Translation
"Let's argue about a digital sticky note for forty minutes."
Tech0
Fire Drill
An urgent, disruptive task that interrupts planned work, often due to poor upstream planning.
"Another Friday fire drill."
Translation
Someone senior remembered something.
Tech0
Domain Expertise
Deep, specialised knowledge in a particular field or industry.
"She has real domain expertise."
Translation
She actually knows how this works.
Tech0
Bleeding Edge
Beyond cutting-edge — so new it hasn't been proven yet, with all the risk that implies.
"We're on the bleeding edge here."
Translation
Nothing works and no one can help us.
Tech0
Bake In
To build something into a plan or product from the start rather than adding it later.
"Let's bake in the reporting."
Translation
We forgot it last time and paid for it.
Tech0
Tiger Team
A small, focused group assembled to solve a specific, high-priority problem quickly.
"We've stood up a tiger team."
Translation
Five tired people and no extra time.
Tech0
Sunset
To formally retire or discontinue a product, feature, or process.
"We're sunsetting that feature."
Translation
Killing it, but gently phrased.
Tech0
Scope Creep
The gradual expansion of a project's requirements beyond what was originally agreed.
"Classic scope creep."
Translation
Nobody said no, eleven times running.
Tech0
Ping
To send someone a quick message, usually over chat or email.
"Ping me when you're free."
Translation
I will interrupt you shortly.
Tech0
Mission Critical
Essential to the organisation's core operations — failure here has serious consequences.
"That system is mission critical."
Translation
If it breaks, the weekend is gone.
Tech0
Loop In
To add someone to a conversation or email thread so they're kept informed.
"Looping in Sarah."
Translation
Sarah now shares responsibility for this.