Banking361
Deck monkey
An analyst whose life's work is aligning boxes on slide 34 at 3am for a meeting that gets cancelled.
"Two years a deck monkey and I dream in Arial 9pt."
Translation
Junior banker.
Section
Banking
Deck-building, deal toys and 2am comments.
12 entries
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Banking209
Ping me tonight
A scheduling instruction confirming that 'tonight' is a working timezone.
"Turn the comments and ping me tonight — I'll be up."
Translation
Your evening is now mine.
Banking178
Live deal
The universally accepted excuse for missing a wedding, a birthday or a full night's sleep.
"Can't make Saturday, I'm on a live deal."
Translation
I have surrendered my calendar.
Banking85
Synergies
The savings promised to justify a merger.
"The deal unlocks significant synergies."
Translation
Two teams became one.
Banking66
Double-Click
To examine something more closely, borrowed from a mouse.
"Let's double-click on those margins."
Translation
Explain the number you hoped I'd skip.
Banking49
Bull Market Brain
The confidence of someone who has only ever worked while prices went up.
"That's pure bull market brain talking."
Translation
You have never seen a downturn.
Banking45
House View
The firm's official opinion, which nobody personally holds.
"That's not the house view."
Translation
Do not say that to clients.
Banking33
Beauty parade
A competitive pitching process where multiple investment banks present identical, glossy slide decks to a client who will ultimately choose their partner based on who bought them the most expensive dinner.
"We have the beauty parade for the acquisition mandate on Thursday, so ensure the logo on slide 47 is perfectly aligned."
Translation
"Let's perform some corporate theatre for people who already made up their minds last Tuesday."
Banking22
To soft-circle
To indicate a vague, highly conditional level of interest in a deal, allowing one to claim credit if it succeeds or pretend it never happened if it fails.
We can soft-circle five million for the round, assuming of course that the wind remains in the east and the moon is in a favorable phase.
Translation
I am saying yes now to make you go away, but I have signed absolutely nothing.
Due Diligence
The thorough investigation done before a deal, hire, or major decision — verifying claims before committing.
"Diligence closes Thursday."
Translation
Six weeks of reading in a locked data room.
Deck
A slide presentation, usually PowerPoint or Google Slides.
"Send me the deck."
Translation
Forty slides no one will read past three.
Open the Kimono
To share previously private or internal information — an older, now widely criticised phrase.
"Time to open the kimono."
Translation
Please never say this again.