The imaginative mathematical formulas used to convince investors that losing four pounds on every transaction is actually a highly scalable business model.
What they actually mean
We are haemorrhaging cash but we have a very pretty chart.
Heard in the wild
"Our unit economics are looking highly favourable once we exclude the cost of acquiring customers, shipping the goods, and paying our staff."
An emergency injection of capital secured from increasingly anxious investors to keep a loss-making enterprise afloat while it searches for a sustainable business model.
"We're raising a quick bridge round to give us enough oxygen to close our Series A."
Translation
"We have run out of money much faster than we admitted in our last pitch."
A euphemism for being drastically understaffed and poorly funded, successfully rebranded as an admirable display of agile discipline.
"We're running lean ahead of our Series A, so everyone is pitching in on customer support."
Translation
"We can't afford to pay you overtime, but we do have a ping-pong table."
A highly optimistic funding stage where an enterprise consists of nothing more than an ambitious slide deck, a shared workspace subscription, and a mountain of personal debt.
We are currently raising our pre-seed round to help us build the minimum viable prototype.
Translation
We have no product, no customers, and very little time before the rent is due.